” You were born to make a difference, you were born to lead”
This phrase was spoken over me in the 9th grade and yet it still rings in my ear as if she was still laying her strong hands over me. It was the first time I ever believed something positive someone said about me, probably because it shook me to my core. As a tall lanky 5’10” 115 pound kid I didn’t see myself leading anyone to anything except for my own life to its destruction.
This week I’ve had more free time than usual, with classes being over, studying, and being single, it has left me with so much time to just be with God. And honestly that’s where I needed to be most.
Suffering from anxiety you’d think this finals week would be a hell for me, but yet I’ve found nothing but peace as I let my mind wander to thoughts of God and His goodness.
As I’ve been staring out the window, I’ve been reminded that I want to live. I do not want fear and anxiety to control the life I have. Because when you only get one life, if you live it right once is truly enough.
And I wonder why I’m sitting here holding back, not trusting, where I’ve settled for this life of being in a routine.
My dream is to live, live with a purpose, to stop playing in the sand building kingdoms that will never stand, but to go into deep waters and build the kingdom of God.
What if I gave my everything, what if I stopped worrying, what if I left it all to God and went out in faith, maybe that is what living is. Maybe it’s not being comfortable but being available, maybe it’s just trusting and seeing mountains move. I want to lead the people of God to a place on their knees.
For I was born to lead and not be crippled by fear.
So what if I decided from this day out, I wanna give everything.
-J.S.